Trouble

 It all starts with an innocent punch to the face

 A little dance and some smack talk...

Another sucker punch by the short, squat one

 Out of nowhere Squatty gives up

She heard the warden trundling through. Peace is restored. For now. 

Something about her seems shady



Decisions, Decisions... plain or not

Vegan, gluten free peanut butter/ chocolate cookies

Heat oven to 350.

In whatever you use to bake with, cream 1 cup of your favourite butter substitute with 1 cup of dark brown sugar and 1 cup of white.

Add 2 flax eggs (2 TB ground flax and 6 TB water)

Add 1 teaspoon vanilla

Scrape the bowl a few times.

Add 1.5 cups of your favourite peanut butter.

Scrape bowl a few times.

In a separate bowl add 2 cups of rice flour, 1/2 teaspoon of baking soda and 1/2 teaspoon of baking powder. Mix or sift it up.

A scoop at a time add to the PB mix. Combine, scrape... over and over until you have a stiff dough. Depending on your location, elevation and humidity you might not use all the flour, or you might need a tad more. You judge. (I judge everything and need my energy for that).

If you are putting chocolate in yours (DARK- read labels), now is the time.

Make balls (heehee) the size you like and lay them on a cookie sheet. These spread a bit so don't be worried they'll take over the pan, they won't.

I baked mine for 14 minutes. You know your oven so I'll also let you judge the exact baking time.

Let them rest out of the oven, but try a warm one before OTHER PEOPLE in your house get a whiff and start walking their zombie asses out of their caves.

Happy Day Bitches

Nana Louise's Stove Top Rice Pudding- Veganized



Tastes like another bowl needed.



Gaye and I were jonesing for discussing rice pudding the other night (text counts as discussion). She texted me her Nana Louise's stoptop recipe. I nearly got up at 10pm and made it (I had raisin toast instead). This was so good. I can't even tell you how good, you just have to take the mere minutes it takes and do it yourself. I veganized my version but you can do it whatever way you want and it will work. I really doubt you can fu*k this. You can double, triple, quadruple or PMS size this. Just remember to increase everything accordingly (actually I'm a big fucking liar cause I just eyeballed everything and turned the pot on).
Ignore me.

Nana's Rice Pudding

1 1/2 Cups of cooked rice (the starchiness of white is best but use whatever you like. I'm trying it with Quinoa!)

1 Cup of Coconut milk (This is what I used, use what you like)

1/4 Cup of Custard flavoured tofu (the original calls for 2 egg yolks, but you know that ain't happening here...)

3 TBS Sugar

A Dash of salt

Vanilla for flavour (if you use the custard tofu you can really skip this, up to you)

A fluff of cinnamon or nutmeg (A fluff is a poof. Figure it out)

Things you like to put on top. I used chopped prunes (god help me) and raw sunflower seeds. Next time I'm gonna do like Nana said and use raisins, golden.

Put the rice, tofu (it will melt up without much effort on your part), milk and sugar in the pot. On med-high heat start stirring. The rice will thicken and bubble and be flipping hot. Turn off the heat and keep stirring for a couple more minutes.

Add the vanilla now if you're using it. Add the cinnamon if you want it fully incorporated. I like a sprinkle on top.

Get the big bowl that you only use when no one is around to see you eat. The one on the top shelf and you need the steppy stool to stand on to get... Is that just at my house?
Fill it. Sprinkle your add ons and prepare yourself for comfort.

Hope you made enough for later tonight, you are gonna want it. Enjoy!

PS: Sorry if your ass widens because of the carbs. So Sorry.

Vegan Decadence

Chocolate, a lot of chocolate

Vanilla Salted Caramel

I tried a new chocolate recipe tonight, I think everyone should use it. Vegan or not. It's rich and chocolatey and moist and no animals have gone into it.

The vanilla recipe is the same old with the normal tweaks. Earth Balance Buttery Sticks instead of butter, SoDelicious Coconut Milk in place of milk and Bob's Mill Egg Replacer instead of eggs. The icing is also the old standard. Icing sugar, Earth Balance, Coconut milk and vanilla. The Caramel I made. Sugar in pan patiently on med-low heat until it's melted and turned brown, then a smidge of Earth Balance. Don't rush this. Be patient otherwise you'll never get the burned sugar smell out of the house for a couple of days, I speak from experience. 

Here's the Chocolate recipe. Give it a go. 

Preheat the hot box to 375 degrees, get your cupcake liners in the tin (will make 12) or spray/ butter a 9 x 13 pan.

1 1/2 Cups of unbleached flour

1/3 Cup Cocoa

1 tsp baking SODA

1/2 tsp salt

1 Cup sugar

1/2 Cup vegetable/ canola oil

1 Cup water

2 tsp Vanilla

2 TB White Vinegar (yes, vinegar. The window cleaning kind)

Mix all the dry into your main mixing bowl (I use a KitchenAid mixer, everyone does right?). Mix all the wet into another bowl or a large measuring cup.

Combine and beat the hell out of it for a few minutes, scrape the bowl and mix a bit more. Scoop (you use a standard ice cream scoop, I know you do...) the mix into each cup. The batter will create 12 perfectly peaked beauties.

Bake for 22 minutes. Check at 20, maybe your oven is an over achiever.

Take out and let sit in the pan to cool for 10 minutes, take out of pan and let cool completely on a wire rack before you ice. COMPLETELY.

For the icing I used:

1/2 cup Earth Balance, melted

1/3 cup Cocoa

3 cups of icing sugar

a pinch of instant coffee power

Put it all in the mixer AFTER YOU'VE CLEANED IT, and beat it for about 5 minutes. Scrape, Beat, Ice.

This is a crazy easy recipe and I hope it becomes your standby, it's officially mine.

Luv u